Sandy's Trauma and Beginning of Grief
Every One of us go Through Grief
OK, so I was on this journey – you can imagine. I loved the journey. And then, the next thing that happened was that tragedy in my life whereby my 3 daughters and their friend were murdered. I want to tell you about my journey of grief during this time. There may be some things there that can help. There are certainly some positive aspects that come out of it, so I’ll tell you about my journey of grief … and you know what? Every one of us here are going to have to go through grief.
Learning Through Adversity
Maybe many of us have already been through grief, and there’s going to be more. We’re all going to go through some adversity at some time. The key thing out of adversity and out of trauma is learning. What is there that you can learn from this event, because you know, those learning experiences are experiences for our soul and it’s the soul that needs the experience.
I’m so Glad I Spoke to my Girls That Night
So, Jenny and Kirsty, they were twins at 19 and Lexie, she was 16 – the next day. And the date was 23rd January 1987. They were living with their mum in the northern Sydney suburb of Pymble and a friend of theirs, Lisa was there as well, so there were 4 of them in the house. I was living about 5 kilometres away in Lindfield, married to Sandra and at that time we had a little 5 year old girl, Lara and a little 3 year old boy, Ian. At about 7 o’clock that Friday night I rang and spoke to Lexie and also spoke to Jenny and Kirsty and I tell you, the mirth and joy in that household was fantastic. They were all preparing to go camping for the Australia Day long weekend. And we taught them about camping, so I was really pleased about that. They were going to be joined by a group of friends to go camping. In retrospect I am so glad I was able to speak to the girls at that time, because at 10 past 9 that night Richard Madrell arrived at the door and professed his love for Jenny who of course had not had anything to do with him for 12 months and all of them wanted to keep him away with their mother even trying unsuccessful to take out an AVO on him. But he arrived at the door and shot her. He then shot Kirsty, then Lisa and then shot Lexie. All over in ten minutes.
My First Reaction
The police hammered on my door at about 2 o’clock in the morning and told me what had happened. My first reaction was that this was impossible … I mean I had only spoken to them several hours earlier. For me it was complete disbelief and I questioned about being shot with a shotgun as I knew something about guns from the army. I questioned the fact that it must have been impossible because with a shotgun you have to load it, fire and then re-load it, re-load it again …. Surely one or two of them are going to be able to get away. Surely not all 4 of them, not all 3 of my girls.
I Still Couldn’t Believe it.
On the way to their home in the police car I was still arguing with the police and I was asking if they had seen their bodies. “Oh, so you haven’t seen their bodies … you haven’t actually been there …. You’ve only been told about this over the radio … so you don’t really know this for sure.” Always thinking and hoping that it’s not true.
My Denial Phase
And then a little bit of doubt would come in and it would be like this: “God, how could you let this happen. No, no no, you haven’t let it happen. But …. If you have … what have the girls done? What have they done to deserve this for goodness sake? There is no God.” And so that’s where my denial phase started.
By Sandy MacGregor – http://www.selfimprovementdeals.com
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In celebration of the New Year, Mars Chocolate North America announces that its DOVE® Brand Dark Chocolate has partnered with celebrity chef Claire Robinson to showcase how to make 5 tasty New Year’s resolutions that are easy to keep all year long!
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Whether you're entertaining at home, celebrating at a restaurant or attending a potluck party, the holidays are a time for friends and family to gather and eat. Don't let food poisoning spoil your holiday plans. At BeSmartBeWell.com, meet Chef Kang, a Le Cordon Bleu chef, and Ellen, a real mom who has some things to learn about food safety. They will show you how to keep your kitchen and holiday menu safe.
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If you think the arrival of the fall season brings an end to your family’s summer fitness and nutrition routine, think again! This is the perfect time for everyone to re-energize and get a kick start on fun activities, seasonal recipes, health and nutrition.
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On this year’s World Polio Day (October 24, 2011), the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation and a global community of partners are calling for increased commitment and greater accountability from political leaders to end polio, and for supporters around the world to lend their voices to the fight.
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Kaplan University presents Visionary Voices, a series of interviews that chronicle our goals in regards to adult education and continuing education throughout your life. Kaplan University offers online degree programs designed to expand the way you think and help you develop both personally and professionally. Students turn to us to develop their critical thinking skills, to challenge and prepare them for successful careers.*
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“I want to learn from someone who has really been there. I want access to the best minds in the world, access to real leadership. I want to be inspired by people who are inspired, someone who understands the passion and the hunger to create; inspire me. I want to learn from someone who made a difference, from somebody who tried something new and succeeded at it, who broke the rules and are breaking new ground. I want to learn how to make decisions that will make a difference.
The world’s preeminent innovators, a timeless exchange of ideas from established experts to aspiring new candidates, a new form for this inspiration is here, at Kaplan University.
Until Kaplan [University] and comparable schools did their instruction online, there really hasn’t been appreciable disruption in higher education.
If I were to have any advice for a Kaplan University student thinking about an entrepreneurial career path, I would say don’t be afraid to fail.
What you want to do is to acquire the habit of trying new things. There’s a saying that you’re only as young as the last time you changed your mind.
Finding that right balance between your needs and your profession and your own growth is always something that is evolving.
One of the principals I teach is find a wing to climb under and what that means is you need to find someone in your life who can mentor you through different stages of your life.
Kaplan [University] provides access to powerful ideas from brilliant thinkers, the practical intelligence and inspiration that are vital to success today and critical for a brighter future.
I want to think on a different level. I want to be provoked by original ideas; I want to have a hand in my destiny.
I always tell young people, ‘finish your education and don’t rush.’
You actually need education more than you need money. You need ideas, you need to know how to teach yourself, you need to know how things work, you need to be able to look around you and see combinations that other people haven’t seen before.
For a Kaplan [University] student thinking about, or interested in, being an innovator I would often say, ‘take a wide range of classes.’ We too quickly pigeon hole people. Reality is that we’re all capable of being so many things.
My advice is be broad, understand that things change quickly, and understand what’s happening
